Day 7 was really busy.  As of the morning I was 197 pounds.  I had a lot to do on Sunday and I had by baby with me (my Peekapoo, Daisy).  Went to Eastern Market in DC to check out the fresh produce and had Fresh Lemonade and some fruit to start the day.  Later I realized that I actually should have bought some fruit to take with me so I ended up eating some dried fruit strips in the afternoon.  Got home and had a nice green smoothie with 2 bananas, mango, and spinach.  Ended the night with raw nuts (peanuts, sunflower seeds, and cashews) with a little sea salt sprinkled on them.  My water intake could have been better but I tried to make up for it before bed.  Did P90X with my baby and went to bed very tired.

I wasn’t really that hungry.  I think I was stressed out by my taxes (That I didn’t start on until Sat).  Ugh…Maryland taxes are HIGH!  Couple that with Aunt Flo at the door with my monthly and you get a recipe for diet hell.  Normally I would have grabbed for chocolate or ice cream, but the cravings weren’t there and I thank goodness!  That is real change for me.  I’m no longer coping with life’s challenges with food.  I’m facing life and living it.

I see wellness manifesting in my life.

I really really understood what she was saying.  I’ve been dealing with the feeling that my meals were not complete because it’s not “real food”, hot food, or sweet junk food.  However, I know that those thoughts are just part of my relationship with food.  I don’t want to have this kind of relationship with food anymore.  I want to eat to live, not live to eat.  I want to be fulfilled by things other than food.

Monday was great.  I was really busy, had a very stressful day, but I didn’t medicate or soothe myself with food.  The only non raw thing for the day was a can of soda.  Today much much more stressful.  Crazy drama that I’m only half way involved with at my job.  It’s a mess.  I don’t need the drama.  I ate half of a chocolate chip cookie.  Didn’t beat myself up.  I knew that it was from stress and I was trying to find relief in the cookie.  No relief to be found in the cookie.  LOL  I wasn’t surprised.  LOL  I saw a friend of mine during my break and he give me a hug and a kiss hello.  That felt so much better than the cookie made me feel.    I’m learning more and more that food is secondary to our primary sources…love, friendship, spirituality, environment…etc.

I went to the supermarket after work and was worried that I would walk out with some junkfood or end up stopping for a sandwich or some friend chicken on the way home, but I didn’t.  I just went in and got mangoes, bananas, salad, sunflower seeds, apples, and dried pineapples.  I was so so so proud of me when I got home.  I had a big salad for dinner.

My mantra for tomorrow: I love myself regardless of what I eat.  I love myself regardless of external stress.

Yesterday, Monday at work I had so much energy.  I felt warm…ya know.  I only had kiwi in the morning so I was concerned…will that be enough to hold me till lunch.  It did.  By lunchtime I was ready for my usual salad but not riddiculously hungry.  I had lunch with some of my co-workers and no one questioned my eating :).  Later that day a friend did my state taxes and I had to wait around for about an hour.  Even though is was kinda chilly out and I just had on a light jacket, I felt like walking so I just walked all over her neighborhood…trendy lil neighboorhood with shops in DC…for the whole hour.  I was so surprised.  I wasn’t tired or rundown after.  I could have kept walking.  It was great just getting the exercise but not having to feel all stressed in the gym.  I took her out to eat afterward and had a bowl of berries at Busboys and Poets and wedge french fries.  I know…not raw, but I wanted the starch and I felt ok with eating it.    I love my body.  I love my journey.  It’s my life to live and I’m living it with compassion.

Oh…and my friend who did my taxes says she can see the weight loss in my face.  Yay!  That was encouraging!  It’s great to have people who are supportive of the positive, healthy changes in your life.

All in all it was a good day.

I also bought a new Raw Foods book, 12 Steps to Raw Foods by Victoria Boutenko.  I’m excited about reading it.  I think it will help me with the dependency/addiction side of my eating.