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]]> I had a great Sunday being raw.  After going out and looking at a condo I was interested in with 3 of my girlfriends we went out for lunch.  They all had cooked food and I had steamed broccoli and read potatoes on the side.  No…not raw…but I felt really good about it.  I didn’t want the salad because I’ve had it at this particular restaurant and it’s that nasty, iceberg, out of the bag style salad.  Wasn’t feeling it.  They all shared a chocolate chip cookie and ice cream dessert.  I just looked on and politely said no when they asked if I wanted some.  Some how I felt empowered.  One of the girls is on the Weight Watchers plan and she was lamenting and boo hoo-ing about her meal.  How many points could she have?  How many calories does this have?  After her meal of grilled chicken, rice, and veggies she went on and on about how she just felt like something was missing.  Like her meal was not complete without ending it with something sweet so she had a small portion of the dessert.

I really really understood what she was saying.  I’ve been dealing with the feeling that my meals were not complete because it’s not “real food”, hot food, or sweet junk food.  However, I know that those thoughts are just part of my relationship with food.  I don’t want to have this kind of relationship with food anymore.  I want to eat to live, not live to eat.  I want to be fulfilled by things other than food.

Monday was great.  I was really busy, had a very stressful day, but I didn’t medicate or soothe myself with food.  The only non raw thing for the day was a can of soda.  Today much much more stressful.  Crazy drama that I’m only half way involved with at my job.  It’s a mess.  I don’t need the drama.  I ate half of a chocolate chip cookie.  Didn’t beat myself up.  I knew that it was from stress and I was trying to find relief in the cookie.  No relief to be found in the cookie.  LOL  I wasn’t surprised.  LOL  I saw a friend of mine during my break and he give me a hug and a kiss hello.  That felt so much better than the cookie made me feel.  🙂  I’m learning more and more that food is secondary to our primary sources…love, friendship, spirituality, environment…etc.

I went to the supermarket after work and was worried that I would walk out with some junkfood or end up stopping for a sandwich or some friend chicken on the way home, but I didn’t.  I just went in and got mangoes, bananas, salad, sunflower seeds, apples, and dried pineapples.  I was so so so proud of me when I got home.  I had a big salad for dinner.

My mantra for tomorrow: I love myself regardless of what I eat.  I love myself regardless of external stress.

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