Mainly…

• The circumference of my midsection is smaller.  I can tell because I’m wearing a form-fitting top today and I can really see a difference.
• Let’s just say…more frequent pooping.  LOL
• More energy – I was not tired at midnight last night.  Very strange for a weekday

Haven’t had much of an issue with gas.  In the past adding psyllium husk to my smoothies every few days kept that at bay, so that’s what I’m doing now.  I’m averaging 40-50 oz of water during the day to try to keep any toxic episode at bay.

Transformation takes time and effort.  My body didn’t get all clogged with toxins and fat overnight.  I’m excited about greater health and wellness and I welcome it into my life as I continue my raw foods journey.

I have found that to make profound changes in your life, like beating food addition, you have to love yourself more.  I love me.  I affirm me.  I embrace all that I am right now as good.  Sure, I haven’t yet reached my goal weight, but I’m still beautiful in the now.  I’m worthy of the “more” that I will attain.  I can see all of the good on the horizon, clearly.

I believe in me today.

Since Monday I’ve been 90-100% raw each day and exercised 30 min each day.  I’m down 2 pounds over this period. I feel like this is the place, the moment, the feeling, the place in time where my paradigm shifts.  I’m changing.

I made nut meat delight last night with soaked walnuts, red onion, and celery all blended in a blender.  Then I seasoned it with cilantro, cummin, Lowery’s, and pepper.  I put the blend in romaine leaves and ate it lettuce wrap style.  YUMMY!

I’ve been going through cravings.  I haven’t had much of an appetite in the evenings.  All I want after work is some juice or soda and microwaved butter popcorn.  Sigh.  I’m eating really well during the day so I’m sure that’s part of the issue.  I think it’s more so rebellion.  You know how little kids act when you tell them they can’t have something.  They pout.  They resist.  I think that somewhere in my subconscious, there is a lil girl pouting because I’m not giving her any sugar.  Well, just like a good parent, I’m training my body in the way that it should go.  I’m giving myself discipline and direction.  It’s an awesome gift to give, too.

I’ll have to make a green smoothie when I get home.  Time to take time and visualize this healthy and happy body that will be birthed out of the changes I’m making in the NOW.

I needed some time to really immerse myself in the real reasons why I’m making this change. I needed to really understand what I was eating. I needed to revisit how so much of my favorite food really isn’t food and what that means to my health down the line. I don’t want to be sick, have diabetes, cancer, etc. Of course, I’m not saying that absolutely can’t happen to someone on a raw food path…but if you take care of your body and feed it “REAL” food, you have a better chance of living without disease.

So, since I was going to be off for 2 days I basically stayed in the house and ate raw for 2 days. On Nov 26 I was 181 pounds. Today 6 days later I’m 173. It clicked for me. Real food, natural food vs. Processed, sugar enriched food with no real nutritional value. It has really clicked for me. And the best thing…I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. I’m am fully aware of how I’m making a positive change and not a change fueled by vanity and wanting to be thin.

In this state I believe I will be able to carry on and be healthy. I’m not desiring the faux foods I used to love. I’m not 100% raw. I’ve had some salmon in these 6 days…with a very simple preparation. I think I’ll eventually be 100%, but my daily goal right now is 80-90% and I’ve been hitting that consistently.

I’ve basically been eating the same thing every day…morning green smoothie, large salad for lunch, either another large salar for lunch or just fruit (grapes or rasberries) and some dried fruit and raw walnuts in the morning and evening.  This is really working well for me.

I’ve been feeling kinda lonely.  Food was my friend.  I hung out with food after work.  Food comforted me.  Food was always there for me.  I mean I’m still eating food, but I’m talking about soul food, comfort food…sugary food especially.  Yesterday after work I went home, but I felt so bored…looking for something to do.  I realize that so much of my energy was focused on eating, not eating, what to eat, and buying/not buying food.  Sure, I have a life…but with that internal struggle subdued it just leaves a void that I now need to fill with LIFE and actual Living!!!  That is exciting.  It makes me happy.  I just don’t know what all that will be, but it’s good to have to opportunity to really live and not just live as a seudo-victim of my tummy.

I really didn’t realize until now how much emotional eating I was doing. Now that I’ve been focused on eating when I’m actually hungry…I eat so much less and I want food so much less. I think that 50% of my eating was simply emotional and out of habit. There is no way to be satisfied when you’re not eating to meet a physical need. You can eat and eat and eat and eat and if the real source of your “hunger” is not met…the hunger never ends. If you’re bored, tired, lonely, stressed…you can’s solve those issues with food. They are still there when you finnish your meal, your snack. This is what I’ve known, but now I’m living it. I’m really understanding it.

What is the real answer…self love. Loving yourself and giving your self something that can soothe your issues.  the more I tell myself that I’m beautiful and that I love myself it’s easier to change my ways.  The more I think about being compassionate to myself, I want to make changes out of love.  Love is my motivation for health…not just fitting into some standard of beauty based on size.  If I love myself I don’t want to be consumed by dieting or beating myself up about food.  I don’t want to just eat junk, I want to eat in a way that will make me less likely to have cancer or diabetes.  I want to live a long, healthy and happy life